Back to life...Back to reality

This look says it all. We are all very sad about me going back to work. Ok...mostly just Mom. But the good news is I think I got all my crying out of the way last week. I just kept thinking, "This is my last Monday with him. This is my last Tuesday with him. etc. etc. sob. sob." And you all know I am a sucker for music. One bar of a song like Goodnight My Angel by Billy Joel or even Everything I Do, I Do It For You by Bryan Adams...and the water works start a flowin'. Seriously, I was a sobbing mess. Poor Ryan didn't know what hit him. I never thought it would be this hard. I'm kind of attached to the little guy. But the good thing, is he will be in good hands. He will stay with his Grandmas, other family members at times, and then a great home day care. I mean really...just look at us...we have had such a great time!!



As I am getting more out in the real world, I ask myself, when the heck will my "pregnancy brain" will go away?!? I'm sure my Dad would say, "Runt, those are just blonde moments. You've had them your whole life." But whether they are blonde moments, belated pregnant moments, or just distracted-lack-of-sleep-new-mom moments...I just don't know. Here are some of my latest:

1) At the gym, I not only went into the Men's restroom, but I used the restroom and didn't realize it until I walked out of the stall, looked at the row of urinals and thought, "hmmmm, that's strange." I quickly left and washed my hands in the women's bathroom. Because you know, washing your hands would be the embarrassing part!?!?!

2) My niece, who just graduated high school (I know I know, its crazy for those of you who remember her as a toddler dunking her head while bobbing for apples at our annual Halloween soccer party). Anyway...at her graduation dinner, I apparently spelled her name wrong on her card. So if you hear us refer to Kayla as Kalya from now on, blame it on the blonde.

3) Again at the gym, I get off the bike...get the squirt bottle to wipe down my nasty sweat and flat out spray myself in the face. Good news is the guy next to me got a good chuckle out of it and my face was squeaky clean.

4) And finally, in a photo album I gave my Mom for Mothers Day...I spelled my own son's middle name wrong!! Again, if you hear us say Tyson Kieth (instead of Keith), blame it on the dyslexic new mom.

Here are some pics of some of our latest fun times.

Mother's Day

To my Mum:

As I get older, I realize more and more just how special you are. You are such a strong & beautiful woman, inside and out. One that I strive to be. You always put others first and are the rock that holds many together. You have a great sense of humor and a hug that gives so much love. You are honest and kind, but will put me in my place when needed! You give more love and sacrifice so much for our family that thanking you each day would never be enough. You are the person I call when I am happy, when I am sad, when I am sick, and when I need advice. You are my best friend.
I am the daughter, woman, wife, and now Mother I am today, because of you.

To My Husband:
You made this first mothers day incredibly special. When I think about what it means to be a Mother, I think of you and the incredible Father that you are. We have made it to this wonderful part in our lives and I couldn't have anyone better by my side. You are my shoulder to cry on, my smile to laugh with, and the warm arms that I want to be held by. You are always so calm and understanding, especially when I am not! You are an amazing Father, a loving husband, and by far the perfect man for me!

To my Bubba:
I will forever remember the moment when they brought you to my arms. I had never felt such love before. You are absolutely perfect and made all the pains and strains so worth it. You are the joy of my life. You give me the sparkle in my eye and the purpose of my being. You give me a sense of who I am and the Mother I want to be. You truly complete our lives in every way. Thank you for snuggling with me, thank you for smiling with me and thank you for making me a Mom!

Ty, I love you with all my heart,
Mama

The "Sanitizers"

First of all...Tyson is smiling more and more each day and it just melts our hearts. You quickly turn into that obnoxious person talking in the highest of high pitch voice to try and get a little smirk out of the little guy. But it is all totally worth it. Already we can tell that besides looking at the beautiful faces of his Mama and Daddy :) he loves to stare at the blinds, railing, and anything red. Perhaps a matador in previous life...Get 'em bull fighter!


And now about the "Sanitizers":
So I am realizing that the world of Mommyhood is a completely different world and one that is very new to me. I have been going to the park each warm day and we love getting out and about. However, last week, I must admit that I was very intimidated (which is very rare for a social butterfly like myself). You know that feeling when you are walking in the school cafeteria with your tray, praying that you don't spill your milk and "straw-hat" meal while looking for the perfect kids to sit with that will hopefully become your bestest of friends?!? Well, that's how I felt at the park. But instead of trying to impress the "plastics" like in the movie Mean Girls, I was trying to get just a friendly smile from group after group of Parker Moms, which I like to call the "Sanitizers".

Now really, think about it...Every mom these days carries the Purell bottle in their purse, car, and in every room of the house just in case someone with the pig flu walks in and wants to infect your child. And I must admit that we fall guilty of this - of course with our generic Target brand bottles. However, the "Sanitizers" take it to another level. Not only do their kids have the cleanest, cutest clothes ever, but these Mom's are so put together and polished that their just-stepped-out-of-the-salon-wearing-a-juicy-warm-up-outfit look just doesn't compare to my thank-goodness-I-at-least-showered-and-threw-on-Ryan's-hat look.

Here I am..."Hi look at me and my new baby...wanna talk? No? Ok, I know he can't play on the slide with your kids yet or look adorable in the bucket swing, but look, he just grunted...he's probably letting one go right now and filling that diaper of his. How about just a little smile then? No? Ok then, I will just sit here by myself and read Shopaholic Ties The Knot and be the loser that I am" Ok, so I didn't really try and that may be more of an exaggeration, but it was very intimidating with these "Sanitizers".

Oh and by the way...if you are a Mom, and stay at home during the week, apparently 10:30AM is the time to go to the grocery store. So gather up those coupons and head to the nearest King Soopers.

One Month Old!

Can you believe it?!? Tyson is already one month old! He is awake more during the day, making great eye contact, starting to smile for other reasons than just gas, and is even going for a new George Costanza look since he's losing his hair up top but keeping it fresh on the sides. Its ok...he knows it is just for a little while and possibly a preview for many years on out. Tyson has also now found a love for bath time. He gets to dip in about twice a week and I think it takes him back to the good old days when he lived in water for 9 months! Ryan and I just need to keep on the look out for the fire hydrant pee stream that attacked us during the last bath. :)

Ty is also starting to sleep longer through the night. (Knock on wood to continue.) He will go from 4-6 1/2 hours at a time and it is Fantastic. Oh yeah and remember when I said in a previous post that I love those midnight feedings because they are so peaceful...what the heck was a thinking!?!? Now that I have had a taste of sleeping for longer than 2 hours at a time its been pretty hard to wake up. I always seem to try and convince Ryan when I am half asleep that I have already fed him or just lie about when I last fed him. Poor Ryan with his sleep-walking-talking-punching-kicking wife. I"m sure he is always "on guard" each night with me!

Also, I am finally feeling more and more up to my regular self (Whatever that means). But either way it feels great. There is soooo much that the books leave out about post labor & delivery. I of course read everything about how he will be, but had no clue what I would go through. But either way...I'm feeling much much better. I have even started Turbo Jam. Yes, I look just as enthusiastic as the Turbo Team - except instead of looking like I just downed a bag of sugar while singing about rainbows and puppies...I look a little more beat-red-completely-out-of-breath-dying-for-water. But at least I am trying. I also went for my first run yesterday. It was more of a jog/walk...or walk/jog to be exact...but after looking at my workout calendar I realized that I haven't ran since October. So even though it was pretty tough out there, it was great to run again! Once I get the hang of it The Tysonator and I will be out cruising in the BOB Ironman Jogger. We already sound like bad asses! I get butterflies just thinking about it!


Playing this week is "First Day of My Life" by Bright Eyes. Ryan emailed this tune to us last week and it of course made me cry. For some reason these hormones just keep on raging. But thanks Ryan for always making us smile!!

Eat, Sleep, and "Play"

We're gaining weight here!! Ok, Tyson is. Mom has been quickly dropping a few pounds and is quite pleased that she doesn't outweigh Ryan anymore (but still has a way to go - we all saw that Ginormous belly). Ty on the other hand is a fat happy baby. He gained almost a whole pound from his first appointment after dropping some from his birth weight and the Dr said he is doing great. Go team Gapp!!

We are really getting into a routine now, which consists of sleeping, eating, and "playtime". You might ask... "what can a 2 week old baby do for playtime?" Well we try to vary it up with reading, talking, tummy time (to get those neck muscles strong), the swing, or bouncer. I would say that 95% of it leads to nap time...but at least we try. My favorite is sing-a-long time (however, I do know that I cannot carry a tune and have even been booed off a karaoke stage before...yeah, I know, I was a total white girl trying to rap "Bust a Move", but I was still booed and risked breaking glass. Good thing Ty doesn't know any different. He thinks his Mama sounds like an angel!)

I haven't jumped on the nursery songs bandwagon just yet, mostly because I am just so hip and cool! HA...we all know that is a lie...it's more that I am just stubborn and love my kind of music. But don't you worry, I keep it totally appropriate and only listen to my Westside Connection on my own time. Some of our songs are probably meant to be romantic "love jams", but when you change it up and think about our little bundle of joy and life as it is now - it is perfect. So here's a few of our favorite songs:

Garth Brooks - Wrapped Up In You
Quincy Coleman - Bridge Over Troubled Waters
Madness - It Must Be Love
Mariah Carey - Always Be My Baby
Chicago - Just You and Me
Brett Dennen - The One Who Loves You the Most
Ben E King - Stand By Me
UB40 - Baby I lOve Your Way
Bryan Adams - Everything I Do
Hall & Oats - You Make My Dream Come True

And Ty's favorite right now:
Sarah McLachlan's version of "Rainbow Connection" (now playing)

Can't Get Enough of You Baby

Well, its official, we just can't get enough of Tyson and are completely in L-O-V-E. Even with all the poopy diapers! (And yes, I know its just getting started!) We are getting into a routine and starting some things that we hope to continue. We both love reading "You Are My I Love You" to Ty each night, even knowing that we will be awake in just a few hours with him again. But like my friend Lynlee said, there is something almost peaceful and joyful about those midnight feedings. Its just Ty, me, pure silence, and pure love. Ryan of course continues to be an amazing husband and even more an amazing Dad. I have even seen him dance around the room with Ty and it just melts my heart. (Now if we can just get him more comfortable two-stepping out on the dance floor!) Ryan stayed home for the first week and is now back at work. I know that Dad misses us each day and can't wait to get home!


I have come to realize that as a new parent there are even more "Firsts" for all three of us. So far we had our first full meal, first 6 hour stretch of sleeping at night, first pee on the wall (just missing Dad), first pee on Mom, first loud toot that it woke Dad up through the baby monitor, first outing (to the Dr's office and then Target - naturally), first bath, and first licking bath from Callaway.


Another first was my "good-thing-I-didn't-cry-my-eyes-out-or-kick-you-in-the-shins" moment while we were at the doctor's appointment. We were waiting for the elevator with our adorable son on our first outing. Here is the conversation with us and the idiot-of-a-woman:

She asks, "Oh, how old is he?"
We both say, "Just 4 days old."
Idiot-of-a-woman looks at me kind of funny and then asks, "So then did you have one twin and still need to deliver the other?"
WOW I thought...that is one heck of a sarcastic comment, and even for us Lacy's.
But we both just laughed it off and got into the elevator.
She then asks, "No really, so do I take that as a yes?"
I thought, OMG - Holy crap... she was serious. Who says that?!?
I said, "Nope just one baby", biting my tongue trying not to laugh and thanking my hormones that I'm not bursting into tears.
She looks at Ty again and then asks me, "So....then is he yours?"
I said, "Yep, he's mine, still have the baby bump."
She says, "Oh well, I guess it does take time for that to go down. Well congratulations." And then FINALLY got off on the next floor.
Ryan and I both burst into the kind of uncontrollable laughter where you can hardly breath, talk, or hold back tears. We had to compose ourselves before heading into the Dr's office. I even lost it again as I was checking in and had to apologize and say that some idiot-of-a-woman just asked when I was going to have my other twin. Seriously...some people.

And finally, we wanted to thank everyone for all of your wishes, congratulations, calls, emails, and much more. We are very blessed with all of the love and support from family and friends. I am slowly getting back to everyone, so please be patient :)

Our family of three..Tyson has arrived!!

Tyson Keith Gappinger
Born 3/20/09 at 3:16am
Weight: 7 pounds 7 ounces
Length: 20.5 inches
And absolutely beautiful

Our Birth Story
We arrived at Sky Ridge at 9pm for our induction...And my nerves where quite high! It was very surreal just to show up and say, "Ok, here to have our baby!" Our delivery nurse, Sarita (who was amazing!!) quickly got me all set up and started to induce with Pitocin at 10pm. We were a little nervous and shocked when she mention Dr. Grover would be in at 6am to break my water (6am?!?! Are you kidding me??). But thankfully an hour later, Dr. Grover walked in at 11pm to get things going. I was so relieved to see him...not knowing what kind of pain he was about to cause. As soon as he broke my water the contractions really kicked into high gear and as I reached my pain threshold, I asked for the epidural at 11:45pm. The epidural was brought at 12:01am and I was a happy camper. The contractions felt like tightening and pressure now, just like everything I have been feeling for weeks. They checked my progress at 1am and was only dilated at 4cm. Ryan and my Mom stayed at my side, watching the screens and letting me know when the contractions started (like I couldn't tell :) but it was at least entertaining for them.) 2am, Sarita checked my progress and WOW - we were at 9cm!!! I couldn't believe it, we were just a few steps away!

Sarita got us set to start pushing at 2:45am. I always imagined that Ryan would just be there holding my hand, but he instead had a very active role. There were even times when she was bringing supplies and it was just him and I pushing. Pushing was pretty intense and I relied on my competitive nature to get me through. Yes, in my mind I would say to myself, "Alright, GAME FACE. Let's do this!" and "Balls out Kathy, Ball outs" (which is what a Scottish running coach once screamed at me while I did sprints at the track.) I even had the Salt-n-Peppa song run through my head - Push It. Either way it got me through. 3:00am, Dr. Grover came in and the final pushing began. Now, why anyone would do all of this without an epidural boggles my mind. It was definitely very painful even with it and I can't imagine having to push and have contractions without the drugs. (So more power to ya women out there that have done so!) But I felt, since I wouldn't receive a special award, trophy, or join an elite club...why go through the extra pain?

And so...3:16am - Tyson Keith came out in the world!! Tyson is a name that we have both loved for a long time. And Keith is to honor the twins that my parents had and lost. Ryan cut the umbilical cord and Tyson was immediately handed to me. I was overwhelmed with emotion and cried my eyes out. He was here. And absolutely every pain, discomfort, and day on bed rest was so worth it. He is perfect!! I looked at Ryan and knew that everything was just as we wanted. I looked over at my Mom and saw how proud and happy she was. And I looked down at this amazing miracle and knew this was the happiest day of our lives. It was truly amazing. And what a way to bring in the first day of spring :)


At the Hospital
Well...you hear how you won't get any sleep and boy is that true! We were up for 40 plus hours straight. And probably looked like zombies! We had family and friends come to meet Ty and looking back it was all a daze for me. So far, breastfeeding is going great and I think Ty and I make a great team!! We sent Tyson to the nursery at night, so we were able to get a couple of hours of sleep in between feedings. We were all three ready and anxious to go home and finally left the hospital at noon on Sunday.


Home Sweet Home
Coming home felt amazing. I finally sat up in Tyson's room, looked at everything we had prepared for months, looked at the most beautiful baby in the world...and just cried tears of joy! I really could not be any happier. Even with the lack of sleep, we are just so happy and so in love with this little man. Ryan has been incredible and so far we are starting to build a routine. The first night was a little rough at first, but he slept at little better after 3am. My mom stayed the night to help us get settled. It was just very comforting to know that we had a veteran in case something happened.



Thank You Everyone
Finally, I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has come to see us, sent emails, calls, and congratulations. As you know...our lives have changed and we are learning as we go. It will take me some time, but I will get back to all of you. We both know that Tyson will be so incredibly loved by so many people, that we really feel blessed. So thank you.

Hallelujah!!!

The March Madness hoops tournament may start on Thursday, but for us, it will be the happiest day of our lives. :) We are scheduled to be induced this Thursday night at 9pm. And we are just SOOO excited about it. As of last week, I was progressed at 3cm and 90% effaced, so they will start the pitocin right when we get there.

We will try our best to keep everyone posted. But either way, we will have a baby this weekend!! I had tried to send out an eviction notice to Baby Gapp, but he just wasn't taking the hint. Maybe it is either my competitive nature that I just HAD to get all the way to my due date or my obsessive planning instincts that I can now really go to the hospital at a planned date and time. Either way, he will be here and we couldn't be happier!!

Are we there yet? Are we there yet?

Well, everything is about the same. Still sitting here with the Jeopardy theme song in my head and feeling like kids in the back seat yelling, "Are we there yet?" "Are we there yet?" "Are we there yet?". However, I have changed my plan of action. I continue to go for light walks every day, but instead of going crazy with stair climbing, squats, uphill walking, etc....I decided to take the advice from Tori and get myself a relaxing massage! I had remembered our instructor during our childbirth class mentioned that a baby will more than likely come when you are relaxed versus stressing out. And of course the thought of "When will this baby get here" is constantly on my mind (along with most friends and family), but it is nice to turn my focus elsewhere. And so, I headed into Massage Envy on Sunday and LOVED IT! Why didn't I do this earlier?!?! I even had the pleasure of laying on my stomach with the pregnancy mat, which that alone was worth every penny. So far it has stirred things up a bit and the contractions have picked up....nothing huge or timeable, but heading in the right direction. I was also 2cm dilated at our appointment last Thursday. So it is a little slow, but I will definitely take all the progress. Just one step at a time, right?

Wishin' and hopin'....

Wishin' and hopin'
and thinkin', and prayin',
Planning and dreamin' each night of his charms.
That he'll be here in my arms.

Yes, I am now in the stage of the waiting game. (Alex Trebeck....queue in the Jeopardy theme song). We had our 37 week appointment last Friday and it was confirmed that he is all ready to go. Woohoo, we have made it full term! The ultrasound showed that he even has a full head of hair, was estimated then at 6lbs 11oz, and has a contracting diaphragm which means he's ready to use those lungs! So I figure, he is just now at the point where he is taking advantage of me. He's clearly ready for the real world here, but already isn't listening to his mother!! Silly boy.

My mission, as I choose to accept...is to walk this baby out!! And so, as I hinted before, I am now that mad woman at the track walking all over the place. I was even asked to leave by security today. No really, I was...but that was just because a gym class was on their way out. I definitely got the sympathy looks from the guards (as I do from anyone in public) as they wished me good luck since they clearly knew what I was up to. But I have now figured that our hilly neighborhood might come in handy since I start to get little contractions while walking up hill. Which gave me another idea...STAIRS. And so, this morning, I would walk from our bedroom, down the basement to get ONE piece of laundry, walk it back up and repeat. And repeat. And repeat. Can you sense the desperation?!?

So I must request...for everyone to send some labor vibes our way. The room is ready. I have nested the house clean. Our bags are packed and we're ready to go. I am ready for the chaos. I am ready for the pain. But more importantly, I am just ready to meet Baby Gapp and officially bring him into our lives. So yes...lots and lots of labor vibes :)